I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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