I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
