I'm so fucking centered right now
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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