is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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