I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
