capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
