sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize