Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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