Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
i believe in u and ur pee
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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