if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
