We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
