Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
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