If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
