never play flip cup with pint glasses
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
