you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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