i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
