Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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