Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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