I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
