I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
