The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
