I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
