My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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