i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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