problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
