Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
