No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
i've created a new STD.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
