worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
