i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
