real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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