I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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