Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
