we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
