there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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