so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
