do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
