Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
