yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
