I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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