Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
