How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Randomize
