I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
