i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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