The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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