I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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