winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I'm always down for nudity.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
