just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Less talking, more tequila
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
