this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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