Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize