Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
