A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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