I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
