when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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