your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
