So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
