she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
