Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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