He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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