you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize